The Caretaker of an Urn (A Quick Story on Death)
When his mother (Teresa Gunderson) died he was fifty-five years old, and her ashes were placed into an urn, with an on it, and a butterfly, she loved butterflies that’s why he specifically selected it out.His brother, Mick Gunderson, believed they’d have a wake, of types, tiny just for the family, and Mick did all the matching, and calling up relatives (to include permitting his brother’s wife Delia, to wait in his place when she desired and deliver the urn), and so forth, while Lee (the younger brother), insured anything was paid for, and obtained what little income his mother left from her bank account, and plans and so forth, enough for the urn, and wake, with a few bucks left around, but not much.Well, when the time came for the wake, everyone showed up but Lee, for whatever causes they were, he didn’t give to the family members, to include his brother.The urn was established between two vases of flowers, and on a, with a podium for people who wanted to give an, and Mick Gunderson gave his elegy, and his older daughter Sharma, the earliest of the nieces, gave her statements, as Teresa Gunderson’s brother Wally, and her many sisters sat in chairs just below the platform, asking where, and why Lee hadn’t shown up (his wife informing him of the light discussions concerning his nonappearance, after her return home from the wake). The parent niece Sharma, recognized this also, and brought it up to her father’s attention. And the wake extended unabated.As time passed, family members asked-if the the younger brother Lee, whom had the urn in his house, desired to place the ashes of his mother in to the river, and be done with it, as his mother had said to do, but more in jest, than seriousness.”No,” said Lee, adding: he could not.”Let me do it then,” said one of the family members, “I help you have it right in the center of your living area, like an on, Sharma said to her father,”What is the feeling of my uncle having those dead ashes of mom in the house anyway?”Whereupon a later the older brother, Mick told his younger brother Lee, what his daughter had said, Lee got a minor offense to it but left it alone, once you know they knew little about anything in life other than what their immediate environment provided for them, in their conservative area of the Midwest.After a while, an or so, another family member introduced the issue up again, this time it was the daughter of Sherrill, the younger niece to Lee, and cousin to Sharma, her seventeen year old daughter Carmella, described to her grandfather, about her great uncle, saying,”Why does my great uncle, keep ashes of an individual in the house, how sick that is?”The Grandfather, Mick Gunderson, told his younger brother of his granddaughter’s remark, probably a rhetorical question.”She doesn’t know much does she,” the younger brother said, incorporating, “if she had done any living, or traveling, she had understand other cultures, that there are different methods of life, of thinking, she would understand this isn’t so unusual, among the other two-hundred countries that surround the United States of America, and for that reason, it’d not seem so strange, or peculiar, or sick, they keep them in several countries in their houses, such as in Asia, and East Europe in particular-I have noticed them myself, matter of fact, they keep the bones of the relatives out in the open, on racks, in Cambodia in an individual’s backyard. Maybe she feels she’s also above everybody else, or she lives in container, all firmly bound that says: USA only.”The older brother did not say a word, what might he say, he, himself was baffled on the issue, and did little traveling outside of the United States, or got involved with other countries, or cultures to consider his brother’s declaration, and Lee did not give him the reasons why he did what he did, feeling it was his business, and no-one else’s, and didn’t think it was such a big deal, or worth a long explanation, specially returning the mouths of arrogance.Another year had passed by, then Lee chose to move, was planning to move to South America, from Minnesota, his spouse being Latin American, she had now existed in the United States going on six-years. During the method of attempting to sell his furniture, the matter of his mother’s urn showed up again, during a visit,”Why?” said Carmella, then included, “Look mom, my good uncle still has my Great Grandmother’s ashes,” and gave a terrible search on her face, as she viewed them.Lee settled her little attention, and walked out when she concluded her sentence, and made her face to present her mother her disgust, and he returned to care for business. She’d said it in the sly, and didn’t understand he overheard her.Soon after, Lee moved to South America and needless to say, brought his mother’s urn with the ashes in it, with him, right onto the jet, and right on his lap.A year after that, Lee’s brother Mick, brought up the issue over the phone, saying, “You still got mom’s ashes?”"For god’s sake,” Lee undoubtedly said, “it’s nothing of your business, you never needed them in the first position, and I asked you.”The older brother thought on this, like his two daughters thought, as they spoke this issue over (a while straight back, ahead of this phone call), for they had said, “What type of person won’t visit his mother’s wake, but keep her ashes as if they were sacred?”One speech among the four had said this to all the rest.The older relative, Sharma had said, “I guess grandmother would like to increase from her grave and damn him!”But then the brother had settled down, advised his two daughters, and daughter, “Its best left alone, we do not understand the total of it.”It was during this time, that Mick called Lee up, as I’d just described, and during that discussion, asked him kindly,”Why is it brother you keep her ashes and never visited her wake, I ask you out of love, not scorn or judgment, and as the matter has come up in my family surroundings.”"Because,” he said, “it’s my mother, its actually nobody else’s business, but perhaps it’s yours somewhat. You see, she was so precious to me, and she’s so much dearer now to me, and I possibly could not think about her being gone, placed right into a river, or left idle in a graveyard, where dozens of who said they loved her would never visit her, only left for the birds to flyover, and dogs to work by-perhaps urinate on her grave stone, plants to grow around her and nobody to put them on her grave. Grandpa died 19-years before, have you ever visited him (the brother explained ‘no ‘), see what I mean. Today she’ll be with me and in a way, she never left. Had I attended the wake I’d have already been sadder, in this manner, I’ll never be really that unhappy. I know people speak against me, and say all sorts of illegal things, but I will say now I often had an is true,” his brother said.And for the nieces they nonetheless continued to say, “What sort of dad do we have?”1-15-2009 (on the Roof, Lima, Peru)
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