The David Wright Details List

Aug 25, 2012 by RaguelLadonna774

1. David Wrights tears remedy AIDS. Too undesirable he has never ever cried. Ever.

two. David Wright does not sleep. He waits.

3. The chief export of David Wright is discomfort.

4. David Wright has counted to infinity. Twice.

5. In fine print on the final page of the Guinness Book of Planet Records it notes that all globe records are held by David Wright, and these listed in the book are simply the closest any individual else has ever gotten.

6. Crop circles are David Wrights way of telling the planet that at times corn needs to lie the f*** down.

7. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of beings David Wright makes it possible for to live.

eight. David Wright is the only person to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

9. The opening scene of the movie “Saving Private Ryan” is loosely based on games of dodge ball David Wright played in second grade.

10. David Wright has two speeds: Stroll and Kill.

11. A person after tried to tell David Wright that roundhouse kicks aren’t the greatest way to kick a person. This has been recorded by historians as the worst error anyone has ever produced.

12. David Wright is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like David Wright.

13. The internet site eSellOut.com didnt take over the sports tickets market, David Wright forced them.

14. David Wright can drink an whole gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.

15. Rather than being birthed like a standard child, David Wright instead decided to punch his way out of his mothers womb.

16. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is David Wright.

17. David Wright does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

18. When David Wright goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a baseball bat and a bucket.

19. There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just David Wright.

20. David Wright once challenged Lance Armstrong in a “Who has far more testicles?” contest. David Wright won by five.

21. When David Wright calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the telephone and cash falls out.

22. David Wright when ate a complete cake ahead of his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

23. David Wright’s urine was the major ingredient for BALCO’s designer steroids. Consequently, David Wright is in fact the all-time single-season residence run king.

24. David Wright CAN believe it really is not butter.

25. When the New York Mets had been aired in France, the French surrendered to David Wright just to be on the secure side.

26. Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with far more than 20,000 girls in his lifetime. David Wright calls this “a slow Monday.”

27. David Wright invented black. In fact, he invented the whole spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

28. David Wright has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 2003 Planet Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Cost-free Monopoly card, a two of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

29. No one does not like Sara Lee. Except David Wright.

30. David Wright ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got a single.

31. If you Google search “David Wright getting his ass kicked” you will produce zero benefits. It just doesn’t come about.

32. David Wright can divide by zero.

33. The show Survivor had the original premise of putting men and women on an island with David Wright. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.

34. David Wright can touch MC Hammer.

35. David Wright can slam a revolving door.

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